About a month ago, maybe it was only 3 weeks ago. I was hanging out in the tutoring center. The asb officers were handing out free tickets to the Sunking's game everyone had taken the ones they wanted but there were four left. So I grabbed 'em up and thought to myself how bad could it be? . . . Well the first half did not have any embarrassing incidents at all. The game was captivating and the entertainment wasn't just cheerleaders bouncing themselves around (although nicholas was pretty happy when he noticed there were cheerleaders that were, hmmm how did he say it? Oh, yes "Hot") They had a few mascots running around, t-shirts and balls being thrown into the audience, and a small radio remote blimp dropping coupons from the sky. Pretty entertaining for a popcorn bucket. The pictures are of audrey exploring all the functions of the popcorn bowl and of all the kids meeting the sunking's lion ( I am pretty sure it is a lion, don't quote me on that.)

So let's get to the grit of the story shall we, nothing mortifying happened until the second half of the game. A nice professor of the college stopped by at half time to be friendly and say hi. he sat down and asked the kids if they were enoying the game. For the next 10 minutes madison and nicholas shoved Pokemon and Bella Sarah cards in his face, proceeded to tell him all about their childhood including their first words ever muttered. Nicholas explained some hirogliphics (sp?) on a necklace pendant mom and dad had brought me back from egypt. Meanwhile he elaborates that it also means "fat, you know fat" to quote him exactly. i can't believe he introduced me as fat, what is wrong with the boy? Audrey meanwhile was shooving the popcorn hat on the mans head. Madison says extremely loudly "wouldn't that be weird if you remarried a math freak." (yes you may gasp, it is called for., ecspecially since we don't ever really talk about that...oh wait unless you count it when I tell her the only way she's getting a horse is if I marry a cowboy. Which to me means, when pigs fly)

Oh no it isn't over there is still more. The chearleaders break out from the side lines to do a little pelvic jig, Nic proceeds to grab the popcorn bucket and emulate all of the dancers moves. Ug, take me home now. Then, big drumroll please. Audrey has an accident and let me tell you it wasn't just a tinkle.

I admit we haven't had a lot of time going out together, a movie once in awhile, McDs a few times, so apparently we are also out of practice telling mom I have to go and mom is out of practice packing any extra clothes, no panties, pullup, socks even? Nope, ain't got 'em. So i am mortified and hustle my nic and aud down the stairs, I forget my purse and my oldest daughter. I admit it I wanted to get out of there. Well in the bathroom I realize I can't even put her shoes and socks back on, they were too wet. Time to go home, but the purse and daughter are still up in the bleachers with a mere aquanitance that I will have to see on monday. So I did what any well balance person, I mean emotionally unbalanced person would do I wrapped her up in Mad's sweatshirt ( the only thing I grabbed in my sprint to get out of there) and I ignored it. I went back up to finish watching the game and told nic and mad we were leaving at 100 points. ( only 4 away) but those 4 points took soooo long to get. like 10 minutes. So, like any good sneaky child Audrey stayed still until I was distracted by something else, probably talking and wiggled out of my hands. She proceeded to strip out of her most modest sweatshirt and streak a few chairs down(only 2 and 3 year olds can get naked that fast). I wish I could have seen Greg laughing at me, I might have had a better sense of humor about the whole thing during the car ride home. Anyways the kids managed to make it home alive, but with their ears ringing from my demanding question, "What were you thinking?"

To his credit Richard, the math guro, said when I saw him on monday, that he had checked the news cast and there were not any streakers highlighted on the sports news that evening.

when I told my friend Sheri what had happened all she had to say was I needed to get out more often.

TOO TRUE