Oh, GUTS !

So I am determined to pass anatomy with my held up high, so i spent a few extra hours in the lab with my cat which I will refer to as Godzilla from now on, He is the biggest cat Dr. Mattocks has recieved in along time, no one else would take the little fella because, the larger the cat the more tissue to pluck through. I love anantomy, I find it fascinating, except the last two labs I have had this strange reaction a couple of hours later.

Rage and Tears.

I know you expected me to say itching or swelling or a foul stench that wont leave my nose. LOL. But no i experience uncontrollable rage and tears. It took me a little bit to figure out that it raises questions, doubt, fear and anger because I used to clean Greg's guts. I have been frantically looking for the pictures of his wounds and my most awesome wound care skills, but alas I can't find them.

Greg's tissue was dying from the blood vessel constricting due to the vasculities. For a time this only affected his intestines and stomach obviously after his spleen jellified and had to be removed. So the holes (fistulas) would leak, even if he didn't eat. Well it is apparently bad to have stomach and intestine contents making a home within the stomach cavity so I had the chance to clean out the open wound that ran from a touch beneath his diaphragm to a bit above his pubis bone. I felt so guilty cutting the Godzilla open in the same manner. Anyways I could see his small intestines within the wound and would often clean this area. I learned so much from his pain.

I will somehow stop raging and crying when these emotional scars of mine heal. Somehow I will model this life after God's design by making GOOD things come about, despite the hellish circumstances under which I discovered I love playing with guts.